the parody of joy

men knew from the dawn of time that he can achieve what his mind can conceive... probably, to escape from the self-mockery of what he thought of as defeat. psychology taught him to feel numb when his arms are barb-wired together, to deliver babieswithout anesthetics or to surrender all his possessions for paper-money.

"demi-superheroes are half-superhero, half-human beings... i am one of them... "

"superheroes are strong... built to last... never to tremble... can handle pain... will endure... -- i am this! or atleast i psyched myself i am... im afraid to lose all in the sight of those who bring me pain... i dislike the idea of adding pleasure to their satisfaction.... and i seek not deliverance from this fear, im totally fine with it... i think of this as a challenge... for i am strong, i never cry - i will not cry... i'm afraid, but superheroes should not be afraid, they never fear... probably i need to undergo a crash course on how i can be more efficient on this aspect... some time soon, i wish..."

"humans are weak... built to deteriorate... never to overcome... cries at pain... dies after all... -- i am NOT this! or atleast i psyched myself i am not.... humans are dishonest, they are not transparent... they would try to come up of ways to ease their pains... to relieve themselves of burden... they psyche themselves like they are superheroes and they don't like the fact that they are gullible..."

now, i am a superhero, but i am really human -- to mimic happiness, i exert effort to always wear a good smile... to conceal the tears, i have my faded 3-weeks-without-any-wash hankie (and it still smells nenuco) ... to embrace reality i bring with me my superhero costume made from titania-fluorovinyl-acrelate-steel... this, to protect the human inside me, to house the flesh that wounds easily, to guard me against suffering... to imitate joy, i am never sad... i elevated myself up to the next phase of my self-made evolutionary stages...

in the same degree im afraid i fall short of strength, and fell to the weakest link list, i have to admit defeat -- yeah, im afreakin loser, but atleast im man enough to admit it...

"demi-superheroes are half-superhero, half-human beings... i am one of them..."