awaken: an ending in the making

with another hit at the back,
another jab to the chest,
one more hook to the head,
and one last uppercut to the chin --
your combo finish went on exactly as you have planned,
and i found myself aching...
my whole body trembling...
my soul escaping due to shame...

like the sudden rush of pain
came the realization
that i will not ask for MORE of this...
tribulation is for those who have sinned...
torture, for those who committed ill doings...
my holiness should shield me from all these...

i am confident
that i may not dwell in YOU forever...
that after the moon has waned,
the shackles that has kept me beneath the earth
for hours that seemed years, and days that seemed eternity,
will be broken;
setting free the new me...

i will grow oblivious of your memory
this is my liking...
and i will not die waiting...
and i will not wait ANY MORE...
this is my liking...
i will continue...
i will take my life back...
this is my liking...

yes, i am taking my life back...
a life without the "I'M PATHETIC" sign on my forehead;
a life free of pain and self-disgust;
a life that i SHOULD be living...

for between the shroud of uncertainty
that made promises become just statements meant to be forgotten,
i have saved an innocent life from being dragged to lunacy...
my life...

the crave that you brought me is surreal...
but i'm gaining consciousness, now...
i'm finally waking up...
the reality of you is just a sand castle in the shoreline at low tide...
waves, no matter how gentle, will swallow it in an instant...

awaken, i found myself alone...
in a deserted island...
white sand, clear waters -- im in paradise
waiting for JOY...