over the start...

i'm right over the starting-over mark... and i would want to continue on... it occured to me now that i can't force myself into believing that this "love" that i had with this person would last forever... not with me, not for me, not to me... now, i believe that i have nowhere else to go but move forward... afterall life is like a concert, we all got our time for the stage; and when our time is over, we got nothing to do but wait for the next gap... or much worse, the concert has ended, we got nothing to do because life sucks when we're alone...

damn! i miss my baby... i wish we can still be together... i know you know that i still love you... and there's no point in making me feel this way, it just kills me slowly... and i don't know how much longer i can hang on...

but then again, maybe my solo-concert has just ended... i'm starting-over and it feels so wierd... i feel so incomplete... so deficient... so lacking... i'm starting-over and i would WANT to carry on... i HOPE i can carry on... i WISH i can carry on...

starting over...

if i were a fish i'd be nemo... at least if i am lost, someone's gonna look for me... or maybe, someone looking for someone lost only happens on computer graphics animation...

anyways, i'm starting from scratch... i broke up from a 1-year, 1-month and 4-day old relationship... that's 2 days after i turned 22... i would love to be with this person forever - in fact I'm deeply inlove... unfortunately for me, "reciprocating" is not the word that best describes her feelings towards me... and "likewise" is not the word that i'll be hearing after i say "i love you".

i don't know what i'm writing here... i don't know if i just want to air sentiments out... or to share my feelings to somebody, to anybody... or to try to calculate how long i am going to last or how long will i bounce back, given the coeffiecient of restitution... alas, love is not math...

(sigh!)... ( and another sigh!)... i'm not making any sense here... i don't know if i'm ok... but i am really just starting over...